Removing the Blame in Divorce

Woods, May and Matlock ,P.C

Texas law allows for both fault and no fault grounds for a divorce. When giving fault, the law requires couples to list one of the following reasons when they are filing for a divorce:

  • Abandonment
  • Cruelty
  • Conviction of a felony
  • Living in a mental hospital
  • Living separately for three or more years

When people go through a divorce, they tend to focus on blame. Divorce and child custody lawyers in Frisco, TX see this every day. Though you don’t need a reason in a no fault divorce, we want to blame our ex-spouse for the failed relationship. We feel bitter, distrusting, angry, or heartbroken. We want a reason to turn our back on the failed relationship and a pinpoint to justify its cause. Woods, May & Matlock understands.

Another approach that gets you back on your feet

Instead of focusing on reasons to belittle and complain about your soon to be ex, start planning for the future. When you change the focus to something you can actually control, you regain your sense of power. While you can’t change the past or change the person you were married to and their actions, you can take charge of your present and future.

Woods, May and Matlock ,P.C

Questions to ask yourself as you plan ahead

Start envisioning the life you want after your divorce. Take small actions every day to make this the reality.

  1. Where will I live? Are you going to transition into an apartment or live in the family home? Will you buy a new place?
  2. Where will the children live? If you’re in a custody battle, remember the courts are likely to send someone to your home to see you can care for your children’s basic needs and well-being. Plan a place to live that includes space for them in your life. Even when you may want to get away from your spouse as fast as possible, leaving the home right away can lock you from access to your kids on a daily basis. You need to plan for a bedroom set-up for each of your children, so think about all the items they need when you’re negotiating marital assets.
  3. Will I be starting a new career? If you’ve been the stay at home parent, this is a time to redefine yourself and claim your independence. Plan for the field you want to work in or the small business you want to run. If you have a solid career, perhaps you aren’t looking to change this. You still need to plan your income accordingly. Figure how much you’ll have to spend each month on child support and alimony, or how much you’ll be receiving as part of your future earnings. Even if you’re happy in your career, you might want to aim for a promotion or new position that could increase your earning potential after the divorce.

Changing your focus to the future instead of focusing on anger towards your spouse is one strong way to move ahead. The team at Woods, May & Matlock can help you get the best outcome in your divorce or child custody case. Get our divorce and child custody lawyers in Frisco, TX on your team by calling 972-387-9955 today.